​     In today’s world, so many things can feel overwhelming. Global conflict, national catastrophes, local trauma, all can add to our sense of helplessness. But are we? Are we at the mercy of our surroundings? Of course, we may feel that way, but we don’t have to be bummed out.
          Jeff began his psychotherapy with me about a month ago. At 45-years old, he had been with his company for over 20 years. He started as an assistant payroll clerk and rose to the top as a corporate accountant. His wife of 23 years, Julie, had been by his side through thick and thin. Their two children, now 17 and 19, were ready for college. The empty nest was looming. Jeff played off his growing depression, calling his therapy “just a tune-up for my mind.”
          Now starting his 5th session with me, I used the beginning sessions to acquaint him with the components of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT). He also completed an extensive symptom questionnaire, the Multimodal Live History Questionnaire, which gave us a foundation for his healing journey.
          “Hey, Doc,” he greeted me while following me from the waiting room to my office. “How’re you doin’?”
          “Now, Jeff,” I joked as he settled in. “Don’t be stealing my lines.”
          Jeff spent the first 30 minutes of his session telling me the sources of his depression. I empathized and encouraged him with affective listening. After his pause, sensing that he was finished with what had gone wrong with his life, I offered a summary of his feelings and context and then suggested, “You know, Jeff, you’ve really got a handle on what’s wrong in your life. Let’s talk about what’s right.”
          “Yeah, but,” Jeff started, but paused, looking confused.
          I then guided him through a mindfulness exercise. “On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most depressed you’ve ever felt, what number would you give yourself right now?”
          “Oh, probably a 2,” he concluded. “I gotta remember to be more mindful.”
          “Now, give me the one thing you remember from today that helped you soar.”
          “That one’s easy. My son hugged me and told me he loved me before going off to school. At 17, you know, that’s pretty rare and special.”
          “So, make time to cherish those moments amidst your hectic days.”
          I concluded the session by reviewing his list of gripes and noticing that his comments were peppered with negative extreme references. Between sessions, I challenged him to catch himself when a negative extreme escaped his mouth and replace it with a modulated reference. I gave him a few examples and he found modulating words for them.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, you can follow Jeff on his healing journey. Mentalligence, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral strategies are the tools of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) that light the way on your journey. Buy your copy on amazonbooks,com. Follow this link: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

​Our lives seem so frantic at times that we may feel we are living on the edge. Planning and waiting for the next thing. Looking ahead at the expense of enjoying the moment. Anticipating instead of being. Living on the edge is a precarious place to be.
          As a clinical psychologist in private practice for over 40 years, I appreciate how much words matter. Inflections, nuance, double entendre all effect the impact our words have on our decisions, on our lives.
          “Okay, Doc, I’m glad for my appointment with you today.” Amy started as she sat in my office. “I have a ton of stuff to get off my chest. Whew.”
          As Amy took a breath, I encouraged her. “Okay, girl, fire away.”
          “Well, Brandon is being such a brat,” she ramped up. “He always gets that way when his dad is out of town on business. And Carol, my best friend? She’s hitting me up to volunteer as homeroom mother this year for our children’s third grade class.” Amy looked up to ceiling, her face reddening, “Why me? I never have time for myself!” she concluded.
          “Well, I’m exhausted,” I paused, “Go ahead. Get it all out.”
          “Well, Mandy and Brandon are always fighting like cats and dogs. They just pick on each other nonstop. They’re my children. Why can’t they just get along? Is it my life task to referee their fussing at each other? Am I the only one who tries to keep peace in the house? Am I losing my mind?”
          “More?”
          “No. That’s it for now. What am I doing wrong?”
          “Amy, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way,” I started. “You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s not what you are doing. It’s where you are.”
          She puzzled, looking confused.
          “Your perspective on things is keeping you stuck. Let me guide you on you healing journey and help you soar.”
          Donald Meichenbaum, originator of cognitive behavioral therapy, and Albert Ellis, who gave us rational emotive therapy, each focused their patients on extreme words. These words define living on the edge. In Amy’s session, she used only, never, ever, and always. Other extreme words include would, should, could, must, have to. Albert Ellis coined the cute word “musturbation” to capture difficulties with excessive use of extreme words.
          Challenge your use of extreme words to capture your life circumstances. If Brandon is frequently a brat when his dad is away, Amy will be more likely to manage the situation better than if she feels stuck in always-land. Extreme words are problem-focused, while modulated words are more solution-focused. Amy feels less a victim and more empowered.
          Follow Amy’s healing journey in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Buy your copy on amazonbooks.com. Follow the link, https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

​ARE YOU NUTS?!?
          Well, that’s a crazy question. But think about it. In this world in which we live, crazy may feel like the norm. To that point, being nuts may be a highly adaptive response to a crazy world.
          Recent studies indicate that about 20% of our population may have diagnosable anxiety and/or depression. For our young people, under age 25, that number rises to 30%. As clinicians offering counseling or psychotherapy to our patients, how can we guide people on their healing journeys?
          Adam was a high school senior with lots on his plate. He was an athlete. He also acted in the school’s fall drama and spring musical. He had a girlfriend. Having been an honor student last year, his grades had fallen precipitously during his senior year. Colleges were looking at him as an athlete, but he feared falling behind and not getting the scholarship he needed to get into college. His family had “issues” that he didn’t want to talk about. He came under my clinical care because he felt that he was “about to crack up.”
          “Hey, Adam,” I nodded. “What’s up?” I invited Adam into my office for his third appointment with me. Having used the first two sessions to acquaint myself with him, empathize with him, and explain mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT), I watched him settle on the sofa across from me.
          “Nothin’,” he offered. “What’s up with you?” He sank deeper into the couch, put his chin on his chest, and folded his arms in his lap.
          “Well, now. This isn’t about me, now is it?” I offered.
          “I dunno,” Adam paused in thought. “I’m such a mess.”
          We spent time unpacking his “mess,” as I empathized with him. I then concluded, “So, we’re clear on the why questions, let’s talk about the whats.”
          “Whaaat?” He puzzled.
          “Yeah, what can you do today about your mess of a life? What is the part of it over which you have control? What’s the next thing that will help you feel better?”
          Adam stayed in my clinical care for three months, ending his senior year on a high note and getting the scholarship he had hoped for to go to college. I diagnosed him with Adjustment Disorder with Anxious and Depressed Mood.
          While some specialists have a higher percentage of mentally ill patients, most general practitioners have a lower percentage. In my clinical practice, I typically had four types of patients with varying lengths of treatment.
          Some folks are Just Browsing. They usually come for 1-5 sessions, basically to get the lay of the land and comfort on plans to take care of things.
          Others are on a mission and just want to Get It Done. They’ve identified the problem and are stuck on it. These folks are motivated, self-assured, and eager but stuck and realize their limitations. I usually see them in the 5-20 session range.
          Others are the Worried Well. They are self-conscious and have ben through anxious and depressive times. This would be Adam. The worried well most times do not have adequate social skills to use a best friend or confidante, so their therapist fills that bill. They usually stay in therapy for 20-50 sessions.
          Lastly, less than 10% of patients in a general clinical practice have significant mental health issues. These folks test your mettle, and you earn your keep. Treatment is coordinated with other health professionals. Often the goal is to help keep them out of the hospital, maintain self-care, be alert to variations in their mood or temperament, and increase their stress management and resilience. They are in and out of therapy for years.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I offer glimpses of each type of patient and their path to healing. Buy your copy on amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

​     There’s so much pain and suffering in the world that thinking about it can be overwhelming. While we need to take the time to make a difference in painful life circumstances, it’s also important to remember the good stuff, however small it might seem to be. After all, what you pay attention to grows.
          Janice had told me during her first session that she had been depressed “all my life.”
          “Why do you say that, Janice?”
          “Because it’s true,” she pleaded before looking down at her folded hands in her lap and falling silent.
          “Forgive me, Janice. I can imagine how hard this is for you,” I was losing her and wanted to empathize.
          Janice settled somewhat, “You are the third shrink I’ve seen over the last ten years. The other two just took my money.”
          I sighed, softly smiled and suggested, “Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
          Janice then spent the remainder of the session, detailing her grievances and how nobody seemed “to get me.” I soothed her, acknowledged her pain and suggested that we get to it.
          “What do you mean? Just like that?” she said incredulously.
          “Well, Janice, you see,” I paused to emphasize my perspective. “You’ve told me why you’re depressed, but I don’t really see how the why’s are going to relieve your depression. You thoroughly know why. I’m more of a what doctor. That is, what’s going on in your life? What can you do to help you feel better, to go from stuck in depression to soaring in joy?”
          With a glimmer of hope she settled, “Okay, let’s do it.”
          I explained Arnold Lazarus’ Multimodal Life History Questionnaire to Janice and asked her to complete it thoroughly between now and her next session with me. “This document gives you an excellent foundation for your healing journey with me,” I assured.
          During subsequent sessions, I explained to Janice the content of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) and how what she pays attention to will help her grow and soar. In addition to staying mindful, in the moment, to minimize depressive symptoms, I helped her find gratitude in every day, a hallmark of positive psychology. I also helped her minimize her absolute thinking that fueled her depression and asked her to find at least one positive event or feeling she had each day, writing them down to share with me during her next session.
          Janice was in my clinical care for a while, and she rolled with occasional depressive lapses and lots of soaring joy.
          Follow Janice’s healing journey in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. You can buy your copy on amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

     ​Do you ever find yourself in an argument before really knowing what’s even going on? Healthy relationships are always about talking things out. Each of you has your own perspective and context. Words can be hurtful and explosive, especially if you don’t know where they are coming from. Word to the wise: Don’t take it personally.
          Jamie and Andrea had been married for five years. Their son, Jett, nicknamed because he’s always on the go, had just turned three. He had just had his birthday party at home and his folks both agreed that it had been a disaster and argued about who was to blame.
          Andrea started, “We both planned this event. You even scheduled the clown for entertainment. And suddenly you have to go into work? Really???”
          Jamie sank down in his side of the sofa, saying nothing in response. “It couldn’t be helped. They needed my input on a project.”
          “They needed your input?” Andrea erupted, “I’m corralling five wild boys, some of whom are terrified of the clown and others who are giggling and running around finding trouble. That’s when you decide your office needs your input?”
          I got their attention and calmly asked each to take a deep breath. “You are here because you want my input. We’ve got work to do.”
          Getting them on the same side was step number one. Each was now focused on me. “Let’s first find context and perspective on what happened with Jett’s birthday party” I directed them through mindful relaxation to help them focus on being present, now, in the moment. Taking turns, they were each able to review the day’s events.
          “Okay, Andrea, let me give you some words that might just help Jaime come around. When Jaime is not emotionally where you need him to be and he spouts off, try these words.” I turned to look directly at Jaime, “Wow, Jaime. This isn’t like you. What else is going on?”
          “Yeah, but,” Andrea paused to collect her thoughts. “This is just like him. When things get complicated, he always bails on me.”
          “Agreed,” I paused as well and looked back at Jaime. “He has his moments being a jerk, but it isn’t how you want him to be.” I let that sink in.
          “When you lash back at him, you unwittingly reinforce his retreat from the circumstances. Asking him what else is going on here is you challenging him to be present with you and focus on his feelings and the context.
          Andrea agreed that she loves Jaime, even when he’s being a jerk. But sometimes she doesn’t like him. Jaime discovered what else was going on with him when he brought up painful childhood birthday parties where none of his so-called friends showed up.
          To work through disagreements more quickly, don’t take your partner’s words or actions personally. See them as signposts that something else is going on. Greater emotional intimacy heals a lot of wounds.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, you can follow Jaime and Andrea’s healing journey in more detail. Buy your copy at amazonbooks.com by going to https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings, Jon

​In a world of constant motion, with things coming at you from all directions, it has become both art and skill to learn how to just chill. My friends at Compendium, Inc wrote a brief collection of phrases called Pausitivity: Take a Moment to Nurture Yourself (2011). They define pausitivity as “The feeling of joy and optimism that comes when you stop to take a moment to restore and nurture yourself.” In today’s vernacular, this is your encouragement to just chill.
          “Hey, Bobby,” I started with my new patient as I ushered him into my playroom. At ten years old, Bobby seemed to be in constant motion. His mom had told me that his pediatrician had prescribed medication to treat his hyperactivity, but she wanted her son to acquire some coping skills to supplement the medication.
          “Aren’t you just a ball of energy?” I commented as he checked out the toys and games in the room.
          “Yep,” he acknowledged as he sat at the game table and looked at the chess set. Even when sitting still, his motor cranked up foot-taping and leg jiggling. I sat opposite him.
          “Okay, buddy, how about I help you harness some of that random energy?”
          “What do you mean?” he puzzled, beginning to move the chess pieces randomly.
          “Well, when you are just on the go, go, go, sometimes you find trouble, huh?”
          “Yeah,” he cocked his head and paused, “Mom ratted me out, didn’t she?”
          “Yep, busted,” I affirmed. “Ya know, if you want, I can help you stay out of trouble and still have fun. Wanna try?”
          With Bobby’s hesitant buy-in, I taught him relaxation deeper breathing techniques. As he practiced, I saw that he stopped tapping and jiggling. He told me that was “Rad, man!”
          I then brought out my copy of the Pausitivity book and directed him to two entries. We talked about some of his storms, troubling behavior and I shared the following:
          One of the best things you can do when the world is storming around you is to pause.
          Bobby got it. He spontaneously took a deep, cleansing breath. I then shared another of the book’s entries.
          Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
          Bobby didn’t get that one but was curious. I asked him to ball up his fists and put as much energy into it as possible. He did so, even as his face reddened.
          “Tension.” I then asked him to un-ball his fists and let his arms and hands be loose. He wiggled his fingers and shook his hands, smiling at me.
          “Relaxation.”
          We read more of the entries in the Pausitivity book as our session ended. I encouraged him to practice his deeper breathing and teach it to his mom. I gave him two index cards with each of the highlighted entries for him to post on his peg board in his bedroom for him to read each morning before getting ready for the day.
          Read more of Bobby’s story in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, and buy your copy on amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

When a new patient comes for their first appointment with me, they usually are at rock bottom. They’ve been dealing with trauma, feeling anxious and depressed daily, and gone over the edge of sanity with some kind of precipitating event. Got fired. Spouse asked for a divorce, Favorite parent died. Just had a car wreck. Just pulled over and charged with a DUI. Whatever the precipitant, they feel like their life is forever changed. A variety of bad things predominate their thoughts.
     “Okay, Joe. It sounds like your life has been a total mess for a while.” I then summarized his stuckness.
          “You got that right, Doc,” he breathed and then sighed, leaned forward, and put his head in his hands.
          “So, let me challenge you for a moment.”
          “Okaaay,” Joe agreed hesitantly.
          “With all that you’ve shared with me today, all the things that have gone wrong in your life recently, with all of that, can you give me just one, however large or small, one thing that has gone right for you recently?”
          “What? How’s that gonna help me?” People tole me you were the best, Doc. C’mon.” Joe stood up and looked like he was going to leave my office.
          “I know that what I’m asking from you is a challenge,” I gestured for him to calm down and breathe. “You’ve tried to get these bad things behind you, but you’re still stuck in their web. So, I’m challenging you to find a different tack, change your direction, see if that helps.”
          Joe sat down again, slumping back into his chair. He took a deep breath and then blew it out. “Okay. Let’s see,” he paused to rack his brain.
          “Anything big or small that lightened your burden if even for just a moment,” I prompted.
          “Well, my college-aged daughter called me out of the blue the other day. Said she didn’t need anything, didn’t ask for money. Said she just was thinking of me and wanted to ask how I was doing. That felt good.”
          “Wait a minute. Are you telling me that, in the midst of all you’ve had to go through, you’ve also raised a terrific kid? That’s not by-the-way. That’s huge. Good for you.” Joe smiled briefly and agreed with me.
          So, what you focus on grows. Focus on the bad and it grows. Focus on the good and it grows. The mindful perspective, positive psychology, and cognitive restructuring of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) waters the seeds of growing good things.
One perspective I share with patients is imagining your day has 100 parts, some good, some bad. The number stays constant at 100, but the parts increase or decrease according to what you pay attention to. If you have 80 bad parts, then you have 20 good parts. The difference in your perspective comes from what you focus on. Focus on the 20 good parts and they become 25. However, when you focus on the good parts, not only to they grow, but the bad parts diminish. If the good goes up to 25, then the bad goes down to 75, given that the total must equal 100 parts.
My new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life helps you focus on the good parts. Go to amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ to buy your copy today. Begin you healing journey from stuck-ness to spiraling upward and soaring.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

       Have you ever written notes to yourself? I do it all the time. Keeps me on my toes and takes things off my mind that I want to remember. Grocery lists are ongoing. As I think of something, I add it to the list on the refrigerator. Post-It reminders abound all over my house. Prompts me about what’s next on my list. If I have something I need to take with me the next day, I sometimes put it on the floor in front of my door. Yeah, I write notes to self.
          The kind of notes to self that will benefit you on your healing journey are called Therapeutic Journaling. When folks are struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression, I frequently suggest this strategy to patients.
          “So, Jan,” I began to sum up, and then suggest journaling. “Do you remember journaling as a young teen, when you were smitten by that cute guy who sat next to you in math class?”
          “Well, yeah,” she stuttered. “Who told you about that guy? How’d you know about him?”
          “Really, just a lucky guess. Lots of young teens write down events that are important to them.”
               “I was being foolish back then. Nothing came of it.”
              “But now, you’re struggling with stress and depression, and you’ve hired me to be your guide on your healing journey.”
              “Okaaay,” Jan left her uncertainty in the air.
             “So here’s a thought. We could modify your teenage silliness to help you on your journey back from stuck-ness to soaring. Let me tell you about therapeutic journaling.”
             Thereafter, I explained that this type of journaling was a note to self, written daily, mostly as part of your nighttime routine, that captures the day’s significant events and your feelings about them. To keep the task from being too burdensome, I encourage you to limit your journal entry to one single-space page. I also want you to rank your day on how much stress you have. Rank each day from 1 to 10, the higher the rank, the more stress. To help you get unstuck, try to be creative with the wide variety of feelings you might have on a given day. Use a bound notebook and bring it with you each time I see you.
          Therapeutic journaling has several positive functions. It promotes mindful thinking, staying in the moment of the day. It focuses on how well you handled the stress (or depression or anxiety), looking for the positive. Finally, it makes the healing process of therapy a daily activity. How well your patient buys into therapeutic journaling also speaks to their commitment to the healing process.
        More on therapeutic journaling in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Buy your copy at amazonbooks.com. Go to https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

     Your mind is minding your own business all of the time. Like computers, there are plenty of moving parts. Mentalligence, a New Psychology of Thinking (Lee, 2017) provides the foundation for my strategic practice of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT). Mental is the software of our brains. How we size up situations and respond. Intelligence is the hardware of our brains. The capacity we bring to the table that defines our ability to respond to our environment. Focus on the interaction of the two and we have “mentalligence.”
          The substance of our brains are neurological pathways. How we receive and respond to stimuli. Conventional wisdom back in the day told us that our brains mature to full function at around age 25. We grow and learn until then and that’s the hand we are dealt. Thankfully research over the past 20 years tells us that the brain’s capacity for neurogenesis extends throughout our lifetime.
          With counseling and psychotherapy, neurogenesis is the source of hope and change. You can identify hope and change on your healing journey by noticing how you are thinking. We’ve identified four stages of healing on the journey.
          We are living our lives, doing what we always do, and thinking little about the impact of our words and actions on others. I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but this is just who I am. What you see is what you get. This first stage is one of Unconscious Ignorance. We don’t know that there’s a problem and we don’t know that we don’t know. During this stage, your neurological pathways are unchallenged and continue to fire from habit without question.
          The second stage of our healing journey begins with a precipitating event. Something happens that gets our attention and we know we need to do something about it, but don’t know what to do. This stage is defined as Conscious Ignorance. With this stage, you decide (or are forced) to begin psychotherapy. Too often your motivation is to get someone off your back. While it takes time and commitment for change to last, you are challenging your habitual neural pathways. You resist change, relapse to old habits, distance yourself from well-intentioned family and friends. Nonetheless, you become more aware of your conscious ignorance and choose to invoke new neuropathways.
                With time and practice, trying on new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, your brain begins to challenge your conscious ignorance. As new neuropathways emerge and grow stronger, the old, habitual neuropathways wither and die. As you continue your new journey, the stage of conscious ignorance transforms into one of Conscious Awareness.
                 You notice the differences between old and new habits and choose new habits. This is scary because your brain follows the old adage, “This is how we’ve always done things.” Yet, friends and family notice and reinforce your changes. You understand what used to be and fumble a bit with being awkward, because the new you is very different. Yet, as you persist, the new becomes more familiar. New neuropathways, formed from neurogenesis, become stronger and more reliable.
            Finally, as your new normal becomes habitual, your healing journey enters the final stage, that of Unconscious Awareness. Your new, healing neuropathways firm up. Your downward spiral of stuckness is becoming distant history. You continue upward spiraling and soaring, even when encountering adversity. With new neuropathways secured, your healing journey continues.
              For more, go to amazonbooks.com and buy my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

        All of us go through times that feel just awful to us. Why is this happening to me? How can I get through this? Is my life ever gonna get back on track? Variations of what I call the Eeyore Syndrome.
          Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) gives you, the therapist and the patient, tools with which to answer these questions. Being mindful helps you clear your mind and bring resources to bear on your hardship. Positive psychology helps you find the positive in the negative. Practicing gratitude even through hardship clarifies your perspective. Cognitive behavioral restructuring is the third tool in your MPT toolbox.
                   “Wow, Travis, that’s a lot to take in,” I responded after my patient took me on his journey of travail that led him to my office.
                  “Yeah, tell me about it,” he concurred. “I’ve been living this Hell for 17 years now. I’ve tried everything. Nothing works.”
                      “Everything, huh?”
                    “Yep. Nothing has worked to fix this mess. But I’m told that you’re the best at this therapy thing, so do your stuff.”
               “Okay. No pressure, huh?” I paused to gather my thoughts. “So, I have two questions for you. Are you ready?”
                  Travis sat back in his chair and folded his arms, not exactly a ready profile. “Give them to me, Doc.”
                    Question number one let’s take some time to sift through all the junk you’ve shared with me today and figure out those items over which you realistically have control. I’m not saying right now. Just think about it, and we can do this together over time. So, what part of this mess can you control?”
                   “Okay. And question number 2?”
                  “Given all that you’ve been through and the seeming stuck-ness you feel today, what can you learn from all of this about yourself and your interaction with others? And is it possible to view all this trauma and drama as a blessing in disguise?” 
                  “That’s three questions.”
                  “Okay, wise guy. You got me. Three questions.
              As Travis’ therapist, if I had started by denigrating his response pattern and calling him out on his self-pity, the first session would have been his last. Instead, I am artfully raising the same issues by asking these questions, setting the stage for Travis to learn from his errors and adjust his interactions. We learn far more from our failures than from our successes, turning a downward spiral into soaring.
             Follow Travis on his healing journey in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Your copy is available on amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon