Raising a child with the potential to lead and inspire is a profound responsibility and privilege. As a parent, you hold the power to influence your child’s future by nurturing their leadership abilities. This journey involves more than just teaching skills; it’s about fostering a mindset that embraces growth, empathy, and resilience. These efforts not only prepare them for personal success but also equip them to contribute positively to society.
DEMONSTRATE INTEGRITY AND HONESTY
     Living by values like integrity and honesty is one of the most impactful ways to teach children the importance of ethical leadership. By consistently demonstrating these principles in your actions and decisions, you show them that success and respect are built on trust and accountability. Children observe and absorb how you handle challenges, keep promises, and treat others, learning that doing the right thing is not just a personal choice but a cornerstone of effective leadership.
PROMOTE INDEPENDENT THINKING
     Celebrating your child’s independent thinking and initiative is key to nurturing their leadership skills. By recognizing these traits, you emphasize their importance in daily life, motivating your child to further develop these abilities. This approach not only inspires them but also creates a supportive environment where they feel valued and understood. Encouraging open discussions and embracing diverse perspectives can enhance their critical thinking and proactive behavior. By cultivating these qualities, you lay the foundation for your child to become a resilient and innovative leader.
INSPIRE LEADERSHIP THROUGH LIFELONG LEARNING
     One of the most impactful ways to demonstrate leadership to your children is by pursuing your own educational goals. The flexibility of online education allows you to balance your studies with parenting, setting a powerful example of the importance of continuous learning and personal growth. For instance, by exploring master’s in nursing programs, you can open doors to diverse career paths such as nurse education, informatics, and administration. This not only enhances your career prospects but also instills in your children the value of education and lifelong learning.
BUILD EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
     Equipping your child with the ability to manage stress and frustration during problem-solving is essential for nurturing leadership skills. Teaching emotional intelligence (EI) plays a pivotal role in this process, as it involves understanding and effectively regulating emotions. Techniques such as mindfulness, including deep breathing and meditation, can enhance emotional regulation. Helping your child focus on their positive attributes and reframing their adversities into opportunities for learning and growth also enhance their stress management. By fostering these skills, your child not only learns to resolve conflicts but also builds resilience, preparing them to face life’s challenges with confidence.
ENCOURAGE TEAMWORK
     Encouraging your child to engage in collaborative projects is a powerful way to develop their leadership and communication skills. By participating in group activities, children learn to assume various roles within a team, reflecting real-world scenarios where cooperation is essential. This method not only highlights the significance of shared leadership but also provides firsthand experience of teamwork dynamics. For example, structured group tasks can be designed to enhance turn-taking and effective communication, which are crucial skills for future leaders.
EXPOSE THEM TO DIFFERENT CULTURES
     Introducing your children to diverse cultures and environments can significantly enhance their adaptability and broaden their perspectives. Engaging in cultural exchange programs or hosting international students offers firsthand experiences that nurture empathy and appreciation for diversity. These interactions challenge preconceived notions and develop essential skills like empathy and critical thinking, which are crucial for leadership. Moreover, participating in multicultural activities helps children develop a global mindset, preparing them to thrive in an interconnected world.
INCORPORATE REWARD SYSTEMS
     Implementing a reward system can be an effective way to nurture leadership skills in children by motivating them to achieve goals and complete tasks. By using a system where children earn points or stickers for positive behaviors, you create a structured environment that encourages them to track their progress and aim for specific objectives. This approach not only helps children appreciate the value of their efforts but also instills a sense of responsibility and leadership as they work toward their goals. Consistency in rewarding is crucial, as it reinforces desired behaviors and provides children with a predictable outcome for their actions. "The Good Kid Chart" (Robinson, 2016) is a great starting point for creating a successful reward system for your children.
     Incorporating these strategies into your parenting approach can significantly influence your child’s development into a leader who is both confident and compassionate. By fostering an environment that values learning, emotional intelligence, and cultural awareness, you prepare them to face future challenges with poise and understanding. These efforts not only benefit your child but also contribute to a more empathetic and innovative society.
     Discover a world of engaging and educational resources for your children at ThereForMyKids.com and inspire their learning journey today! Additional resources from Dr. Robinson include his books, Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting (2016 on amazonbooks.com) and The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life (2024, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ).
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     Resilience is the gold standard for effective stress management. Develop resilient habits and you can manage any stressful circumstance. The core of mentalligent psychotherapy is designed to generate resilience, no matter the issue at hand.
           In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, I set the context for starting your healing journey and then introduce a new treatment strategy, mentalligent psychotherapy, which is geared toward generating resilience and overcoming any adversity in your life.
          Mandy was referred to me by her primary physician, who wanted her to supplement her use of antidepressant medication with a course of outpatient psychotherapy. During her first session with me, she told me that the meds seemed to stabilize her mood, but she didn’t feel better. With my best active listening, encouraging her to tell me how I could help her, Mandy launched into the Cliff Notes version of her life story.
          “Whew!” I jumped in as Mandy seemed to wind down. “I’m glad you are here. I can help.” Mandy nodded but looked away. “I have some thoughts.” I asked, “Can I share them with you?”
          I then briefly summed up her story, her frustrations, her stresses, her goals for her therapy. As I concluded, I asked if she thought I could help her get back on track with her life. She gave me a glimmer of a smile and nodded yes.
          At 22, Mandy was a 4th year student at the local university. She was also a sorority sister locally and on a partial scholarship as a soccer player. With that brief resume, Mandy felt like everybody expected her to always have it together. Oh, and she was a chemistry major as well.
          I then challenged Mandy to help me understand what’s right in her life. “You have the what’s wrong down pat, so I want to help you counterbalance that. Can you give that a try?”
          Mandy lowered her head to her chest and mumbled, “I don’t understand.” I prompted her and we jointly came up with 3 tangibles that could be included in her list of what’s right. “That’s a start. Can you try to give me a list of 10 items?” Mandy nodded more enthusiastically.
          With compassion and empathy, I reviewed her “stuff” and told her that I understand the “why” she is starting therapy. “But, I gotta be honest with you, Mandy. I’m much less of a why doctor than I am a what doctor.” Mandy wrinkled her brow but leaned forward in her chair.
          I continued, “Let’s start with, ‘why am I always in such a funk?’ but let’s embrace, ‘what can I do to help myself get and stay well? Deal?” She extended her hand, and we shook on it.
         Over 15 biweekly sessions, I helped Mandy understand the concept of mentalligence. She developed strategies to recover from her downward spirals of stuckness and find upward spirals of soaring. Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) is a means of doing so. With MPT, I have taken 3 commonly used treatment strategies and woven them together as steps on the healing journey for my patients.
          First, help your patients understand and embrace mindfulness, as a source of being present in their lives. Stuff can readily get in their way. Being present gives them the opportunity to put stuff aside to work on feeling better. I encourage patients to use the mantra, That was then. This is now. I refuse to let then get in the way of my now. Progressive relaxation and five-sensory awareness are gateways to being in the present and being mindful.
     Second, MPT uses elements of positive psychology (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000, Seligman, 2011) to help patients focus on what’s right and eschew what’s wrong. The Values-In-Action Inventory of Strengths is an evaluative tool from Seligman’s University of Pennsylvania research center that gives substance to your patient’s positive resources. Additionally, through the course of her therapy, Mandy kept a daily healing journal, made a gratitude list, and restructured her schedule to include breaks and time off to recharge.
          Third, when stress and stuckness come, and it frequently intrudes on our lives, MPT uses cognitive behavioral strategies to help patients redirect their energies. Mandy learned to identify extreme words that generate her stuckness. Such words include always, ever, never, only, would, could, and should. These and other such words limit our response options and keep other things or people in control of our lives.
            Finally, Mandy learned to focus on the blessing that comes from her specific adversity. With disappointments, frustrations, losses, misunderstandings, what can you learn from them and apply that learning to avoid further difficulties?
These are the ABC’s of mastering resilience, keeping stuckness at bay and finding ways to spiral upward in your life, soaring in your present, using your positive character strengths to counterbalance stress and adversity, and finding the hidden blessings in unexpected difficulties.
Blessings,
Jon