are you grateful?

        Well, that’s an odd question for a therapist to ask. Most folks come to see us to unload all their “stuff.” What’s wrong with their life. How so-and-so screwed them over. How they can’t stop thinking about all the bad stuff. What a mess!
          When a patient comes into my office, I tell them I’m not their guy if all they want is to re-hash, blame, or plot their vengeance. However, if they want to work on stuff over which they have control, get off their downward spiral, and begin to soar, then I can be their guide on a healing journey. The mentalligent psychotherapist uses mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral strategies seamlessly woven together to gently nudge their patients away from loss and toward life.
          One of the recurring stops on your healing journey is to find ways to practice gratitude. There are four benefits to a daily practice of gratitude. First, being grateful gets you out of your head, expanding your thought process. Second, gratitude improves relationships around you, helping you move more quickly through difficult situations. Third, being grateful slows down life, giving you moments where you notice the joy, however it presents. Finally, gratitude helps you let go of attachments or goals and brings more openness to life. Daily gratitude practice helps you embrace the creative process of soaring, rather than being stuck in the downward spiral of outcomes.
          Heather had been under my clinical care for several weeks. She had made progress, picking up the MPT lingo, having moments of soaring. But today she looked glum. My goal was to help her avoid a setback.
             As she settled across from me in “her chair,” I challenged her, “Okay, Heather. What’s going on?”
               She sighed deeply before beginning. “Well, here it is Monday morning and I just had the weekend from Hell.”
          “Wow! That’s radical. You’ve usually been upbeat in our sessions. Unpack your weekend for me.”
              It was clear that Heather needed to unload, so I gave her the opportunity. “Well, to begin with, Garret is being is more than his usual jerk. He complained about my not keeping the house up, like that was solely my responsibility, didn’t offer to help, and just vegged out watching football the whole weekend. Eventually I gave it to him. After the shouting match, get this, he wanted make-up sex. I told him no and stormed off.”
             I coached her through deeper breathing exercises to help her release the anger and settle back down. Then I suggested that she find the gratitude in her weekend with Garret, even though he was being a jerk.
             “How about this,” I offered. “Give me three sentences that describe your gratitude for this weekend with Garret. Start each sentence with the phrase, At least…”
          “Okay…,” Heather began. “At least Garret didn’t hit me like he has in the past. At least we began talking it out. At least we’re still together, even though he can be clueless at times.” Heather calmed and chuckled after her add-on.
          We agreed to a couples therapy appointment the next time, to try and help Garret get onboard with Heather’s healing journey.
          To find out more about practicing gratitude on your healing journey through mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT), buy my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ on amazonbooks.com. or go to my author website at https://www.authorjonrobinson.com.
Blessings,
Jon

---