clueless: you don't know that you don't know

​Clueless: You Don’t Know that You Don’t Know
Most of us, in life, just keep on keeping on. We do and act how we want without concern for how our words and actions may impact others. That’s the definition of clueless. Just living life without a care in the world.
          Being clueless, you don’t know the impact of your words and actions on others until others tell you. Literally, you don’t know that you  don’t know. This is stage one of your healing journey, that of Unconscious Ignorance.
In my work as a licensed clinical psychologist, people make their first appointment with me after they become aware of a problem. Few come in of their own accord. A confidante, a spouse, a boss, someone who wants the best for you gives you a nudge and you follow through.
          After your first appointment, your healing journey enters stage two, that of Conscious Ignorance. Here, you know there’s a problem, but you don’t know how to fix it. As your therapist, I hear what you say, focusing on the feelings, called active listening. We gather relevant data to help in the healing process, and then I offer a roadmap on your healing journey.
          With mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT), I help you embrace mindfulness, where being present in the moment helps you clear your perspective from past emotional debris. With “what’s wrong” confirmed as an historical perspective, I help you use positive psychology to focus on “what’s right” in your life and interpersonal relationships. We then establish cognitive behavioral strategies, including behavioral prescriptions, cognitive reframing, and journalling to extend the healing process beyond the therapy appointment, helping you live positive change in real time.
          As you make use of these resources, you are developing new neuropathways in your brain, where your former conscious ignorance becomes stage three, Conscious Awareness. You are making substantial changes in yourself, your relationships, and your life experiences. They feel different at first, maybe even forced, like it’s not really you. As you persist, of course with positive input from friends and family, what’s happening in your brain is that previously unhealthy neural pathways are dying out, as new, healthy neural pathways are formed, called neurogenesis.
          Persistence over time is your new friend. With confidence and conviction, you find yourself moving from stage three to stage four, that of Unconscious Awareness. In this final stage of your healing journey, you are getting so used to the new you that your efforts come naturally. You are overcoming daily adversity, soaring and living on your path to your good life. With encouragement, you discontinue your therapy, perhaps with occasional check-ins as needed and are on your way.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, you will find ample examples of the stages of healing using mentallligent psychotherapy. Buy your copy at amazonbooks.com. Follow this link: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

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