hardship: is it a blessing or a curse?

        All of us go through times that feel just awful to us. Why is this happening to me? How can I get through this? Is my life ever gonna get back on track? Variations of what I call the Eeyore Syndrome.
          Mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT) gives you, the therapist and the patient, tools with which to answer these questions. Being mindful helps you clear your mind and bring resources to bear on your hardship. Positive psychology helps you find the positive in the negative. Practicing gratitude even through hardship clarifies your perspective. Cognitive behavioral restructuring is the third tool in your MPT toolbox.
                   “Wow, Travis, that’s a lot to take in,” I responded after my patient took me on his journey of travail that led him to my office.
                  “Yeah, tell me about it,” he concurred. “I’ve been living this Hell for 17 years now. I’ve tried everything. Nothing works.”
                      “Everything, huh?”
                    “Yep. Nothing has worked to fix this mess. But I’m told that you’re the best at this therapy thing, so do your stuff.”
               “Okay. No pressure, huh?” I paused to gather my thoughts. “So, I have two questions for you. Are you ready?”
                  Travis sat back in his chair and folded his arms, not exactly a ready profile. “Give them to me, Doc.”
                    Question number one let’s take some time to sift through all the junk you’ve shared with me today and figure out those items over which you realistically have control. I’m not saying right now. Just think about it, and we can do this together over time. So, what part of this mess can you control?”
                   “Okay. And question number 2?”
                  “Given all that you’ve been through and the seeming stuck-ness you feel today, what can you learn from all of this about yourself and your interaction with others? And is it possible to view all this trauma and drama as a blessing in disguise?” 
                  “That’s three questions.”
                  “Okay, wise guy. You got me. Three questions.
              As Travis’ therapist, if I had started by denigrating his response pattern and calling him out on his self-pity, the first session would have been his last. Instead, I am artfully raising the same issues by asking these questions, setting the stage for Travis to learn from his errors and adjust his interactions. We learn far more from our failures than from our successes, turning a downward spiral into soaring.
             Follow Travis on his healing journey in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Your copy is available on amazonbooks.com at https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

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