is the sky falling?

       In recent podcasts, I shared with you the first two mental pathways on your healing journey from stuckness to soaring through your adversities. They were:

1. 1. Your journey away from focusing on what’s wrong to embracing what’s right.
2. Your journey away from a one-and-done mindset, which generates instability, to become more resilient.

      Today, I will address the third of the five paths on your healing journey. To get unstuck and begin soaring, you also need to be on,
    3. Your journey away from believing the sky is falling, which breeds fear, and toward embracing critical thinking.          
​     In children’s stories, Chicken Little was famous for running around in a panic, declaring loudly that the sky was falling. He churned up himself and those around him for no reason. Ultimately, the sky did not fall and all was well. From this story, we get a clear description of irrational panic and anxiety.
          The Winnie the Pooh stories for children also reflect the absolute faulty thinking that is an excellent description of reactive depression. The donkey, Eeyore, repeatedly offers Christopher Robin and others his negative anticipations with comments like, “Woe is me…Ain’t it awful…I can’t stand it…I’ll never be all right.”
          Take note, my friend. The sky is not falling. It ain’t awful. You will get over what you’re going through. The key is to take the path away from believing the sky is falling and embracing critical thinking. Instead of panicking in your circumstances, you will find yourself being calmer, more focused on solutions, and beginning to soar.
            “I tell you, Doc. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.” Brandon was sweating and beginning to hyperventilate as he started sharing with me.
          “Okay, Buddy,” I started mirroring deeper breathing. “Take a breath. Slow down. Walk me through it all.”
          Brandon calmed noticeably and then told me about being fired from his job of 15 years. He was middle management and was told only that the company was downsizing and that his position was no longer needed.
          “What am I going to do? Our two girls are 10 and 7, and Carol is due in three months with our son. I sure didn’t see this coming.”
          Using the components of mentalligent psychotherapy (MPT), I challenged Brandon to make two piles, one for those things over which he had control and the other for those things over which he had no control. I then asked him to rank the items in each pile on emotional intensity, from 1 to 10. These two exercises got him thinking more clearly and forging ideas and activities to regain emotional control. His sky was not falling so much as he embraced more critical thinking.
          Learning to think mindfully, staying in the now, increases your sense of control and clears the fog of critical thinking. Positive psychology helps you focus on what’s working and clears a path forward. Cognitive restructuring helps you turn what you saw as a curse into a blessing.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, you can read about how Brandon figured this all out. Buy your copy on AmazonBooks at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ.
Blessings,
Dr. Jon

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