S.E.E.D.S. of success for stress-resilient people

           Stress, we all have it. Some of it is good stuff, called eustress. Most of it is bad stuff, called distress. Resilience, we all want it. When we are resilient, we can embrace the eustress and minimize the distress in our lives. So, how do stress-resilient people succeed in life, where others fail?
       In 2009, psychologist John B. Arden wrote The Habits of Stress-Resilient People: A Brain-Based Perspective, through the Institute of Behavioral Health. In this seminal work, he outlined five resiliency factors that lead to one’s success over stress. These five factors generate the acronym:

1. S – Social
2. E – Exercise
3. E – Education
4. D – Diet
5. S – Sleep

               Jody came for her scheduled appointment with me, running a little
late. She settled into “her” chair in my office and I in mine beside her. We swiveled to address each other.
          “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I smiled and started. “Deep breaths…that’s it…You seem rushed and frazzled. What’s up?”
              “Doc, you don’t know the half of it,” Jody sighed deeply. Having just returned from her second maternity leave to her teaching 5th graders, she was highly stressed.
          “I don’t know whether I’m coming or going,” she blew out her exasperation. “Between new class assignments, grading papers, babies crying, and trying to keep peace everywhere, I’m overwhelmed.”
              “I can’t imagine the constant tugs on your time and attention from all directions,” I consoled. “But tell me this. What are you doing to give yourself stress relief.”
          “I can’t imagine. Too much time just putting out fires at home and at school. Whew!”
          “I have some thoughts about what you can do. Do you want to hear them?”
          “Go for it.”
          I then shared with Jody the S.E.E.D.S. acronym. The Social stress relief option could be calling her bestie on the way home from school each day, just to catch up or blow off steam. Another could be planning a date night with her husband. An Exercise stress relief option could be walking or jogging either before going to work or after supper, while hubby takes care of the babies.
          The Education option could be scheduling a couple getaway combined with a continuing education seminar. The Diet option could be planning healthy meals around the week’s activities. I would also add to Dr. Arden’s acronym another “D” option. That would be Delegating. Do what absolutely can only be done by you and then bring in the troops. It does take a village.
          Finally, the Sleep option includes always shooting for 8-10 hours of sleep per night, safeguarding the bedroom only for sleep and intimacy, no screen time there, and maintaining a stress-limiting sleep routine. Baby needs during sleep time can be shared with hubby.
          In my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life, which you can find at  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CY9PQXMZ, incorporates the S.E.E.D.S. acronym into the healing journey. The mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral strategies of mentaligent psychotherapy (MPT) help focus on generating stress-resilient strategies.
Blessings,
Jon

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