THEREFORMYKIDS.COM
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact

Mood or Symptom???

8/26/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
We all have moods. Good moods, bad moods, in between moods. We all have symptoms. Fever? Chills? Achy? Thankfully, symptoms are rare in our lives. Moods, however? They come and go with greater frequency. While the symptoms of physical ailment are rather obvious, not so much for emotional upset.
When your child becomes whiny, fearful, clingy, withdrawn, these may be signs of a mood, or they may be signs of anxiety, depression, relational issues, or other emotional malady. What to do? How to tell the difference?
In over 45 years of clinical practice with children, teens, and their families, I've come to develop the 6-8 week rule. That is, if you notice these signs for less than 6-8 weeks, they probably are evidence of a mood. If they persist for longer than 6-8 weeks, they might be symptoms.
The keys, of course, are relationship and vigilance. "Hey, Son, I notice that you've been kinda edgy lately. Wanna talk?" With healthy relationship, he will want to talk with you. If not, make sure he knows that you're available when he does want to. Active listening is your go to response when you notice your child's emotional fever spike.
Vigilance might involve tracking your child's feelings and behaviors over time, to notice if they persist. With persistent worry, you could guide them through changing thoughts from "what if" to "I wonder" and attaching a positive outcome to the "I wonder." With persistent sadness or withdrawal, you could guide them with check-ins daily and help them rank their days from 1-10, with the higher numbers being better days.
If the signs persist longer than 8 weeks, talk to each other and with your child about getting professional counseling. Just as with persistent physical symptoms that impact your child's quality of life, and you would take her to her pediatrician, so too with persistent emotional symptoms, you would take her to her family counselor.  Mood or symptom? You have the tools to help your child handle it.

0 Comments

Good Stuff, Bad Stuff, It's Still Stress

8/11/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
  • Did you know that good stuff can be just as stressful as bad stuff? Everybody knows about DISTRESS. That comes with bad things happening. The Greeks, however, have a prefix, “EU” that means “good.” So, EUSTRESS is stress that comes when good things happen.
Hans Selye, MD, a Canadian psychiatrist back in the day, developed a list of the 50 most stressful things we encounter in life. Top of the list is “Death of a Spouse.” Second is “Christmas.” Third is “Divorce.” Although not always alternating in the pattern, the point is that both Eustress and Distress are prominent on the list.
Count on equal measure of eustress and distress when you or your child is going through a transition. Normal transitions for kids during a school day include asleep to awake, home to school, between classes, lunch, recess, school to home, and awake to asleep. During these and other transitions in life, we tend to find trouble.  Much heartache and difficulty can be avoided by simply giving your child a heads-up. Tell him five or ten minutes before the anticipated transition that he needs to wrap up what he’s doing and get ready.
If you get attitude for your efforts, recognize it as evidence of your child having an emotional fever. Bring the fever down by active listening, that is, trying to play back to him what you think he is feeling at the moment. After the fever is down, noticed by lower tension and calmer voice, go back to giving him another heads-up. The transition will occur, but you can lower the stress levels associated with transition.

0 Comments
    View my profile on LinkedIn


    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    January 2023
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    February 2022
    October 2021
    July 2021
    August 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015

    Categories

    All
    Active Listening
    Adulthood
    Authority
    Behavior
    Communication
    Confrontation
    Consultive Parenting
    Dealing With Frustration
    Depression
    Discipline
    Empathy
    Family
    Family Leadership
    Hormones
    Mood
    Parenting
    Personal Responsibility
    Problem Solving
    Proverbs
    Rebellion
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Self Care
    Servant Parenting
    Stages
    Stress
    Teachable Moments
    Transitions
    Worry

    RSS Feed

Teachable Moments - Available NOW


Contact

706-308-7403

Speaking

Click for upcoming dates.

Email

jonrobinson00@bellsouth.net
 © 2018. All Rights Reserved.
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact