Are You A Benevolent Despot At Home?

As parents, we are the leaders in our home. The Dominant Parent gets things done by fear, control, and manipulation. "Because I said so" is the only reason this parent knows. They barrel through the family getting their way and use anger to make others conform to their expectations. The Submissive Parent gets things done by doing it all themselves. "Please like me and be my friend" is their mantra. They are tidying, putting everything in its place, and asking "What can I do for you" ad nauseum. Children end up feeling entitled without consequence.

In Chapter Two of Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting I ask the question, Who's in Charge? As a Benevolent Despot, you are both the strong leader of your family and you exercise servanthood parenting. As despot, the buck stops with you. You make decisions. You direct. You delegate. Your leadership is welcomed because of your benevolence. You listen. You understand needs and feelings. You encourage. You include.  House rules and chore lists are not demanded (Dominant). You don't do it all (Submissive). As a Benevolent Despot, you call family meetings and direct a cooperative effort. You understand and serve their needs and feelings.

​Grow your children up in the ways of the Lord, so that when they are old they will not depart from Him (Prov. 22:6) Be a Benevolent Despot in your home.