are you grateful? do you affirm?

         As parents, we do a lot of directing, instructing, and correcting with our children. It comes with the territory. But, my question to you today is this. Are you also grateful for your child and do you affirm him? All of these qualities can lead to teachable moments.
          Twelve year old Buck lived up to his nickname. Being Henry, Jr. just didn’t cut it, so his folks went with Buck. Boy, did his nickname ring true. He seemed to try to buck all the rules.
          “Buck, I showed you how I wanted the icing on the cookies. Why are you doing it differently?” asked his mama while they were preparing cookies to the party. “I don’t know,” pondered Buck. “I just wanted to try it this way.”
          Now, mama has a choice. She can assert her rightful parental authority by telling Buck to start over and ice the cookies the way she had told him. Even saying it nicely would lead her to direct, instruct, and correct her son.
          Or, she could think, “It’s only cookies. How they look is not the point.” This thinking might lead her to be grateful for Buck’s help on the project and to affirm his creativity in adding his own touch.
          The mindful parent is aware of both her own needs and feelings, as well as those of her child in the moment. When you look for the bigger picture, you may capture a teachable moment.
          Mama saw Buck’s tentative look, like he expected to be scolded for doing something wrong. “You know,” she decided how to handle the situation, “there are lots of ways to decorate cookies. No right way.” She reached over to hug her son, even as he jokingly tried to pull away. “I like your creativity. It’s your personal touch on the cookies. Good for you.” Buck lit up and beamed, as he went back to icing the cookies.
          Are you grateful for your child’s efforts, even if they are different than expected? Are you affirming his individuality and creativity? You are creating teachable moments he will remember forever.

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