THEREFORMYKIDS.COM
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact

Coming From Your Heart

4/20/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
When you see or hear your child having an issue, and you conclude that his emotional fever is spiking, your efforts to give him active listening are coming from your heart. The beauty of active listening is that you are right when you are right, and you are right when you are wrong. Whaaat?

​You are helping Bobby with his homework one night. He erases his answer to the same math problem for the third time. He screams, breaks his pencil in half, and flings the pieces across the room.

Most parents would be inclined to firmly respond, “Now Bobby, calm down. Throwing a fit isn’t going to get you the answer to this math problem.” You are being a concerned parent in correcting Bobby’s behavior, but have you missed a teachable moment? With that response, Bobby may just turn on you, or stomp out of the room.

“Wow, Son. You’re really angry right now.” “No I’m not. I’m frustrated. How can I be so stupid? I can’t get this answer right,” might be Bobby’s response just before he dissolves into tears.

So, you were active listening, but you missed the mark. You suggested anger, when Bobby was feeling frustration. You were wrong, but you were right, because you’re focusing on his feelings leading  Bobby to think what he was feeling and then tagging it for you. Now you can fold him into your arms and let him cry it out for a while, reassuring him that he is smart and encouraging him to try again, with your help if he wants it.

Active listening promotes bonding and encourages your child to think through and work on solving their own issues or problems. If you judge, criticize, or solve their problem for them, you run the risk of distancing from her and diminishing her confidence and worth. Active listening when you see your child’s emotional fever spike is coming from your heart and brings you closer together, and even when you are wrong, you can be right.



0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    View my profile on LinkedIn


    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    March 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    February 2022
    October 2021
    July 2021
    August 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015

    Categories

    All
    Active Listening
    Adulthood
    Authority
    Behavior
    Communication
    Confrontation
    Consultive Parenting
    Dealing With Frustration
    Depression
    Discipline
    Empathy
    Family
    Family Leadership
    Hormones
    Mood
    Parenting
    Personal Responsibility
    Problem Solving
    Proverbs
    Rebellion
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Self Care
    Servant Parenting
    Stages
    Stress
    Teachable Moments
    Transitions
    Worry

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact