THEREFORMYKIDS.COM
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact

Help Your Kids Keep Their Cool

5/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Many years ago, a delightful woman who was a patient in one of my groups looked at an anguished man as he was talking and commented, “Ya know, sometimes we have more on our mind than we have a mind for.”  Wow! How memorable, simple, yet elegantly put. To this day I still refer to this phrase as my Alice-ism. So, how do we help our kids keep their cool when they have more on their mind?
          Of course, whenever you notice an emotional fever spike, your go-to response is to active listen. When your empathy helps his emotional fever drop, and he is ready to listen, then you ask permission. “Son, I have some thoughts about what you are saying. Do you want to hear them? All kids are impressed by being asked permission and much more receptive to your wise counsel.
          Also, if you are noticing a pattern over time, bring that to his attention. “Son, you’ve been freaking out about upcoming tests all semester. Is all that worry a problem? Rule of thumb, if what you are noticing has occurred for 6-8 weeks or less, it’s probably a mood. More than 6-8 weeks, it might be a symptom.
          To help your child keep his cool, offer two tips. First, worry comes in only two forms, constructive worry and destructive worry. The first form is worry about things over which you have control. If I want to do well on my vocabulary test tomorrow, that constructive worry will encourage me to study my words until I know the definitions cold.
          The second form, destructive worry, is worry about things over which you have no control. If I’m hearing the news on my iPod and the world is heating up toward thermonuclear war, I have no control over that. I also have no control over my teacher’s mood, or whether my girlfriend is thinking of dumping me or not.
          Research shows that about 80% of our worry is destructive. Only 20% of our worry is constructive. What to do? When you find yourself in the lock of constructive worry, do something about it. Get busy and calm yourself through productive activity to ease your worry. When you find yourself in the lock of destructive worry, give it up. Take it to the Lord in prayer and be calmed by His assurance that He has it all in hand. Constructive worry is something they have enough mind for. Helping your child figure out what kind of worry is upsetting him will help him keep his cool.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    View my profile on LinkedIn


    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    March 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    February 2022
    October 2021
    July 2021
    August 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015

    Categories

    All
    Active Listening
    Adulthood
    Authority
    Behavior
    Communication
    Confrontation
    Consultive Parenting
    Dealing With Frustration
    Depression
    Discipline
    Empathy
    Family
    Family Leadership
    Hormones
    Mood
    Parenting
    Personal Responsibility
    Problem Solving
    Proverbs
    Rebellion
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Self Care
    Servant Parenting
    Stages
    Stress
    Teachable Moments
    Transitions
    Worry

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact