THEREFORMYKIDS.COM
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact

How to be when things are going GREAT!!!

10/11/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
You and your kids are doing great. You're having fun time with them. They are accepting your authority. Your communication with them is awesome! Can we package this and put it in a pill, so that every family can feel this way? So, what's going right?
In my book, Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, my lead-off chapter confirms that communication is relationship. What's going great? Your communication with your children. They get what you are saying and you get them. Christian parenting is not about power, who's in charge, do what I say. It's about relationship. How you talk to your children, the communication, defines the quality of relationship
When things are going great, there are four types of communication happening. First, we engage in directional talk. "Be careful, Sweetheart. Don't go too close to the water. It's way over your head." We give direction and it is well received. Second is instructional talk. "Put your shoulder down and drive your defender. The lower lineman wins the battle." Children learn by helpful instruction. Third are check-ins. These by nature are brief comments meant to elicit information. "Dude, what's up?" or, "Hey, Punkin. Rough day at preschool?" With the information you get, you decide how to proceed.
Finally, the Holy Grail of parental communication is teachable moments. In these moments, you impart your wisdom, perspective, and counsel for your child. "Boy, when I was your age, my dad used to tear up my butt for the least little thing. Now, I don't do that with you. Do you want to know why?" or, "You know, sharing works really good. First, when you share, you make a friend. Also, sharing helps you enjoy giving, instead of just getting all the time."
These are the times when all is right with the world and being the parent is your best job ever. Of course, how your words are received determines what happens next. If you get any verbal or nonverbal red light, "Leave me alone." "Not now, Dad." or eye roll, or looking away, then switch gears to Active Listening. This is when you focus on your child's feelings and try to draw them out. A check-in comment can get things rolling. "Wow, that's not like you. Anything going on I can help with?" or, "I have some thoughts. Want to hear them?" When you feel his emotional fever going down because of your active listening, you get to go back to the fun stuff. Be vigilant, but when things are great, go for it.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    View my profile on LinkedIn


    View my profile on LinkedIn

    Archives

    March 2025
    January 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    February 2022
    October 2021
    July 2021
    August 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015

    Categories

    All
    Active Listening
    Adulthood
    Authority
    Behavior
    Communication
    Confrontation
    Consultive Parenting
    Dealing With Frustration
    Depression
    Discipline
    Empathy
    Family
    Family Leadership
    Hormones
    Mood
    Parenting
    Personal Responsibility
    Problem Solving
    Proverbs
    Rebellion
    Relationships
    Responsibility
    Self Care
    Servant Parenting
    Stages
    Stress
    Teachable Moments
    Transitions
    Worry

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
    • Counseling
  • Books
    • Teachable Moments
    • Leader's Study Guide
    • Resources
  • Speaking
    • Podcast
    • Radio
    • Ask Dr. Robinson
  • Blog
  • Contact