When is Behavior Management more than Bribery?

Many parents tell me they don't do behavior management with their child because they don't believe in bribing them. Effective behavior management is not bribery. The more your child is involved in and invested in the system, the more he wants to do well and be rewarded for his efforts. In Chapter 2 of Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, I offer a Good Kid Chart that helps your child track target behavior and receive daily and weekly rewards based on achieving those behaviors. Involve your child in creating these daily and weekly reward lists, as well as the consequence list. Linking daily and weekly rewards together keeps him involved in the process and helps him develop consistency over time in building his character. The first level of consequence is not getting the reward.  Only go to the consequence list for egregious infractions. For example, if "Play nicely with your sister" is a target behavior and your child mocks her or puts her down, he doesn't get the daily reward for that target behavior. If he knocks her down and yells at her, he gets to choose from the consequence list, which he helped create. Such involved, interactive behavior management helps build character. Bribery simply keeps your child temporarily out of your hair, but with no lasting positive effect.